Friday, February 8, 2008//6:03 PM

fatal attraction

You know how people like to use tt term fatal attraction?like "wow she's so hot" or "she's drop dead gorgeous". and then some guys like to tell those girls who aren't drop dead gorgeous, "hey you look prettier when you smile". And when you know you secretly like the dude back, you'll smile as much as you can when you're around him. but wouldn't it be hilariously weird if everytime he comes around you suddenly smile and light up like a lightbulb?
say you've been having a bad day all along and then you spot him in the distance and you start showing off your pearly white teeth like you're in a oral-b commercial. now that's not pretty, that's creepy, more like it. Now there's a catch to that "you look prettier when you smile" compliment. it actually means "im sorry honey, the sultry pout that models love to do doesn't work for you, so try smiling like the girl next door. But don't smile too much till you look like some maniac especially when you have spinach stuck in between your teeth. Cuz then it won't be fatal attraction anymore, it just be fatal."

And i know some people think wearing those tight tank tops that expose their bellys look hot. i don't have anything against that look cuz some people actually do look good in them. But if i weighed like 80 kilos and i had a flabby tummy i definitely wouldn't wear them cuz dang, its not hot anymore. I'd look like one of those cupcakes. with really small cups and fluffy delicious pastry threatening to spill over anytime. i suppose that look is cute on a cupcake with rainbow sprinkles and all; but not when its on me, with a tight tank top squeezing the life and flesh outta my mid drift. i guess no one would be calling me "cupcake" anytime soon then.

for a more professonal monologue/reflection, try this: http://ellen.warnerbros.com/ellens_thoughts/

Reading her jokes helps me realise life shouldn't be taken too seriously all the time, even when the pastor of the church you just left because of unpleasant memories comes to visit you on the 2nd day of the chinese new year together with his equally old "girlfriend" who fawns over him and blatanly expresses her undying love for him- who so happens to be your sunday school teacher. Her, not him, duhh.